let me drop some knowledge on you.

FAYGO.

replace the F with a G.

GAYGO.

but wait…i’m not done.

put the go…in front.

GOGAY.

GO.  GAY.

IS THE PROMOTION OF THE HOMOSEXUAL LIFESTYLE REALLY WHAT THE DARK LOTUS IS REALLY ALL ABOUT?

I don’t want to draw any conclusions at this point, but according to the completely scientific study I have just conducted, (currently undergoing a second peer review), I am willing to say yes at this point.

Though there may be errors in the data, I do feel confident, having studied the majority population of Juggalos across North America.

The proof is there.  You just need to look for it.

Take “HELL’S PIT” for example.  Now, this is clearly a thinly veiled euphemism for the anus.  When one “goes deep into Hell’s Pit” they are clearly discussing engaging in anal sex with another male.  “Chopping up bodies” is yet another euphemism, however it is for oral sex, not anal.

Why, the hatchet itself represents the phallus.  The “Hatchetman”, the iconic representation of the Psychopathic family, is modeled after the image that every Juggalo would like to see themselves as – a mentally deranged homicidal lunatic.

For most, the image is one that is highly relatable.  So powerful that those who deem themselves “down with the Wicked Clowns” will flock to it, not unlike sheep.  They will purchase merchandise emblazoned with it such as hats, jackets, jewelry, etc.  There are even some who will take the next step to get it tattooed upon their bodies as a declaration to the rest of the tribe that they are in fact more dedicated than others.

But what does the image represent?  What does it MEAN?  For Juggalos, it represents giving power to the powerless.  As most Juggalos will see themselves as downtrodden, they will likely find comfort in this notion.

Allow me, for a moment, to dissect the image.

Much like the Holy Trinity, the Hatchetman is composed of not one, but three parts.  The joker hat, the man himself, and the hatchet.  Typically drawn as a one piece image and colored in red, we must infer that each part (hat, man, & hatchet) are all equally important and equally inseparable from each other.

Now, given the proclivity for the Insane Clown Posse’s masterminds to use imagery and allegory to intentionally deceive their audience, (as laid out at the end of the final Joker Card when Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope claimed that they were actually using their music to discuss their Christian faith & belief in God), we must assume that such notions plague the entirety of not just Insane Clown Posse’s music – particularly the Joker Cards – but every facet.

The face paint itself represents deception.  Deception of the audience and deception of the self.  When one places the face paint on, one becomes a caricature.  A “wicked clown” so to speak.  Through this deception, a follower of the Insane Clown Posse is allowed the freedom to emerge within the community and give into their baser desires.

From this we can only declare the entirety of the Insane Clown Posse and all affiliates to be based upon a foundation of falsehood.

But the Hatchetman.

As I have stated previously, the Hatchetman is one of the integral parts of the Insane Clown Posse.  But to determine what he means, we must first break him down.

Upon first glance, you will notice that he is colored red.  As we all know, the Insane Clown Posse are known for populist tactics, making the connection to the viewer that this is representative of blood.  A fair assumption.  One which I will continue to use throughout this dissertation.

Now, from the design standpoint, we are to assume that the Hatchetman is on a rampage (note the running stance he is always seen in) using a hatchet (fig 3.) and covered in blood, (hence the red coloring), however, I would argue this is entirely false.

Now, as I stated earlier – aside from the red coloring – the Hatchetman is composed of three parts: the hat, the man, and the hatchet.

The man is the most easily determined among the three.  He represents that who would call himself a Juggalo.  We must infer that the Hatchetman is in fact a man due to the lack of breasts.  As the Hatchetman is in fact covered in blood, we would have no visual cues as to determining his sex other than this.  As well, the typical female fan of the Insane Clown Posse also suffers from morbid obesity.  As we know already that Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope appeal to the populist nature of their fandom, we must concur that the Hatchetman represents the male of their fanbase only.

The hat is slightly subtler, though no less important, representing the mental instability of the typical Insane Clown Posse fan.  Or, should I say, implied mental instability.  Though Juggalos will often be linked to crimes such as petty theft or public urination, (and including, but not limited to murder and kidnapping), the gross majority of Juggalos would appear to be poorer, middle class kids who have latched onto the group due to their desire to be accepted for being “different”.

This cult mentality is often what drives other subcultures.  The psychology behind it is no different from punk rock, body modification or Apple Fanboyism.  It is simply notable how extensively Violent J & Shaggy 2 Dope have used this manipulation of their audience for marketing purposes.

Now, with regards to the hatchet, it represents mutliple things.  One could easily infer it to be nothing more than a murder weapon as was previously stated.  Though, if we were to simply take the hatchet as it was, we would be doing a disservice to the artistry of the Insane Clown Posse marketing department.

So what does it represent?

Power.

As I stated before in an earlier paragraph, the Hatchetman overall represents the Juggalo himself.  Often slighted by the world, the typical Juggalo will often feel powerless.  As a poorly educated individual, we can infer that most Juggalos will hold low-wage positions, often working for fast food establishments or other jobs where they can be trusted to not cause harm to society, such as janitorial.  An industrious Juggalo can perhaps find himself working a higher-paying position within the construction or even trades.  However, most Juggalos will never find themselves with management positions, perhaps in part due to poor hygeine.

As such, the Juggalo will develop a deep loathing for his surroundings.  Unable to deal with his lot in life, he will lack the proper coping skills and resources that the upper-middle class may have access to.  As such, he will be easily swayed and manipulated, easy prey for Psychopathic Records.

He will begin to feel a strange affinity to this band of rogues, having found acceptance where he had none before.   Eventually, he will “pick up the hatchet”, and dedicate himself fully to the group.

But is it harmless power?  I would argue that it is not.

Given the Insane Clown Posse’s patriarchical stance, everything about the group is decidedly with a male slant.  In the Psychopathic Family, women are to be seen as second class citizens.  Their needs are always secondary to those of their partners.  There is slight acceptance, but the division of “JUGGALO” and “JUGGALETTE” still stands.

Given this divisiveness, we can only deduce that the power within the Psychopathic Family is most decidedly male.  And what better to represent the male power than a weapon to be weilded on those who would oppose them?

So, what does the hatchet represent?

A penis.

Aaron: Ok. this interview will probably be ass since i’ve been drinking.

Natalie: that -is- the only way to interview

Aaron: so anyway where was i?  let’s talk DRONE. of all the music styles out there, you couldn’t have picked a less popular one. obviously you’re doing it out of love. what is it that really does it for you, i suppose? is there a specific moment in your life where you said, “i really want to play DRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG”?

Natalie: yes sure there are such moments if you are a) audiophile of any kind and b) have found a lot of extreme ends of music, you might want to dive into whatever you consider the extremest, too… no matter if you ride rollercoasters or guitar amps, people like the extremes i guess i just am not much different =)

Aaron: so was there a specific work that changed your perception regarding music?

Natalie: yes, actually there was… i think i must give credit to one of the loudest and most productive people out there, masami akita, known as merzbow i was shown a piece years ago that deconstructed my ideas of sound and music so severly in a mere five minutes, that i just concluded – ok, then you might as well play -anything- of the sound spectrum – as long you think it is the right sound or chord or tone at that moment, it must be where you put it

Aaron: do you recall specifically what that piece was that changed you?

Natalie: yes, cannibalism of machine, from tauromachine it’s a mere five or six minutes chopping up the entire sound spectrum – i found it quite genious

Aaron: so it was really the whole piece of music, not one specific part

Natalie: might be the first few seconds did the trick already after a few heavily pounding sounds in varying rhythms, the rhythms are instantly fucked up by a kind of alarm-hornish sound and then it descends into quite a mess of whitenoise might be the horn did it i’ve listened to more merzbow later on, and while i’ve liked quite some handful of his stuff, i must say, he made way too much outright crap too no wonder among … what’s the bastard at… 600 or 700 albums i’ve fed me some 3 day marathon of merzbox once, some student radio played the shit on the internet years ago i had a couple of c90 tapes and would hit record in random moments

Aaron: i tried listening to the merzbox once. i got about 6 albums in. then i had to quit.

Natalie: that sounds familiar by now i can’t get into the stuff anymore as much as i used to one gets overfed with sound, no matter if it’s popular or underground music – can be always too much of a thing

Aaron: what do you find yourself listening to most often these days? you know, besides goatwhore.

Natalie: lots of grateful dead actually old stuff i’ve bought me a xaphoon just the other week, learning mary’s little lamb right now and thinking to play jazz eventually… the kind of tunes they don’t play anymore

Aaron: i feel confident stating that mingus, and therefore jazz, is dead.

Natalie: jazz is dead since it is popularized as what it is called – jazz most genres are bound to die by their original idea as soon as they leave the underground because they get picked up, reworked, mangled through other people’s ideas and beliefs of “how it must be done” that’s not wrong by itself, no way – music lives from reinvention and from going further

Aaron: do you feel that noise has ever been co-opted in that fashion? or should i say, to the extent

Natalie: but it makes the ideas of classifying genres or the like quite absurd noise has hit the border too, i think

Aaron: that’s all wolf eyes’ fault. i blame wolf eyes for many things they are an easy scapegoat.

Natalie: in the last few years i noticed that you can throw names like gerogerigegege at people and people might say “fuck yes, i know them” that wasn’t the same around 2000… and merzbow’s then just even more known a name by now masonna… yes, they’ve had masonna running in a club once that usually played poppy industrial nonsense…

Aaron: that’s probably the weirdest thing i’ve ever heard of. that’s like hearing about sunn o))) electro remixes.

Natalie: i don’t know – merzbow’s been also working with the likes of alec empire find yourself in a european venue where they’d play atari teenage riot, and people also nod and say “yes, sure, that moron from japan. nic endo’s lovely blasts of noise in atr then are just a story of their own too… so that stuff just does lose it’s underground-ness (if thats a word) as soon as people are exposed to it in bigger masses once again nothing wrong – but it will inevitably pervert the original ideas and genrefications

Aaron: atari teenage riot were innovative in their own right, though. they were really one of the first aggressive breakcore groups. nobody was really doing what they were before them. at least, no one noteworthy

Nataile: more than it perhaps – they’ve got the right punk and d.i.y. feeling to electronic music meant that a lot of angry kids would realize with a shitty guitar and some old synthesizer they could also make part of their voice heard question is again, who has been then noteworthy enough to make something out of it to be remembered still? mhhh

Aaron: innovators are few and far between though. from the last 20 years, who has been really influential? nirvana? atr? meshuggah?

Natalie: that is the point where copying comes in to play things must be repeated often until there’s a new iteration of something coming

Aaron: new things are always coming though. especially with the internet it’s so easy to find something new someone is mashing up one shitty thing with another.

Natalie: you could listen to a lot of doom bands and say, it’s all doom by the characteristics of slower speed, downtuned, yaddayadda – but you might find even one particular sound of vocals, build-up of songs or some other element innovative. if you then indeed pick up such elements, and mash them up with something else you like – well it might become something new

Aaron: well, electric wizard is nothing like sabbath who are nothing like yob who are nothing like disembowelment who are nothing like halo

Natalie: yes exactly that is why genres and ideas are just so.. artificial and innovation works surely from viewpoints too i’ve heard a lot of doom, to stay with this example, i would’ve marked off on a list like “boring… boring.. boring… boring…” while it might have been for people into doom on another level a list of finding awesome new bands

Aaron: i understand. i know some people who name some of the most boring doom bands as being awesome.

Natalie: it’s always the point of view (and taste coming hugely into play of course)

Aaron: but i mean, i find that problem in any genre you have people who latch onto the aesthetic more than the actual music. be it doom or jazz or punk.  why else would the casualties be sellling so many records?

Natalie: but so there was some webzine stating electric wizard -the- innovator of the “mysterious lovecraftian doom” or whtever they called it

Aaron:  oh i wahat? “mysterious lovecraftian doom?” OKAY so i like electric wizard and all, but that is just fucking dumb

Natalie: so it is but someone there must have thought that making a song about dunwich makes you extremely occult, lovecraftian and whatnot my opinion they just write catchy tunes (recently again) and have a good sense of humour

Aaron: i’ll admit that electric wizard probably sounds innovative to someone who is new to sludge. but the whole concept is just beyond me. ok. i’m getting wired up aboutthis. in your opinion, who IS groundbreaking by this point?

Natalie: in anything music?

Aaron: sure.

Natalies: hard to say. i can listen through old northern soul songs and find a bass line which has been heard by people years ago, and yet me discovering this tune makes it for me the most innovative thing i’ve heard in years might as well be someone tomorrow stubbles together grindcore and polka to something that’ll impress me and can be liked. i might find it innovative or just a failed experiment, or i might find it both.

Check out Natlyea at http://www.last.fm/music/natlyea

If you can’t trust Charlie Sheen with regards to metallurgy, physics, building construction and demolitions, engineering, or the basic fundamentals of science, who can you trust?

Of course, it doesn’t have to be 9/11.  There are plenty of stupid conspiracies out there that have been grabbing the public by the balls.  Take the curious anti-vaccine movement, for example.  Or Birthers.  Or people who believe we are currently being invaded by Reptilian aliens.

It doesn’t matter which one it is.  They are all equally stupid.  Well, not equally, although they are all stupid.

I suppose I don’t really blame people for being so paranoid about things.  We are currently living in the age when we have more information than we know what to do with, and largely, it is useless to us as individuals.  Don’t get me wrong.  I absolutely appreciate being able to access scientific studies within seconds, but for the most part, the knowledge that a lot of scientists are obtaining has no bearing on my day-to-day existence.

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not saying that most of what we have learned is useless.  The small, weird bits of information that scientists bust their asses discovering every day is immesurably valuable to humanity as a whole.  Though I might not ever need a heart transplant, I know that unquestionably its discovery has benefited mankind.  However, for all practical purposes, me personally knowing how to create black holes by colliding particles together will be of no good to anyone.  In fact, dare I say, should I ever learn how, the first thing I plan to do is kill everyone on the face of the Earth.

So with great knowledge comes great power.  And as one Uncle Ben so eloquently stated, “With great power comes great responsibility.”  But are we really using the knowledge we are obtaining with any degree of responsibility?  I would have to say no.  Sure, there are great blogs out there actually attempting to enlighten, but for the most part, we are inundated with a sea of opinion mixed in with minor hints of factuality to pass off any conspiratorial belief as truth.

Some people are so taken with their beliefs in conspiracy that any terrible thing which happens in the world is automatically written off as being part of some greater machination.  The tsunami and earthquake which rocked Japan recently was not a natural occurrence.  It could only have been the work of HAARP.  Every pyramid in the world is actually because of the Illuminati.  AIDS doesn’t actually exist and you can survive off of rays of the sun.

At best this misinformation will lead you into heated arguments with college kids who are too high for their own good.  At worst it will fucking kill you.

That’s not to say that you shouldn’t at least attempt to be accepting of new ideas, be they stupid or not.  That is really the scientific method in a nutshell.  Without stupid ideas, we wouldn’t have things like penicillin or the smallpox vaccine.  Even germ theory seemed stupid at one point.  Now you can rest safe knowing that the reason why you got sick from eating tainted chicken was probably due to salmonella and not witchcraft.

Probably.

But there is a pervasiveness among this misinformation, and I don’t know what else to blame but the internet.  I remember a time when everything on the internet was bullshit.  Now people take the word of the internet as law ahead of far more credible sources.

Now for the scary part: yes, you can find credible information on the internet!  That’s the wonderful thing about the internet.  It is the one place in the world where theoretical mathematicians can voice their opinions alongside musicians, politicians can speak directly to the public, and celebrities can be taken seriously as journalists.

But the problem with that is that everyone wants to purport themselves to be an expert on something.  That their opinion matters as much as someone who has spent years studying a field.  The notion that someone could go online and watch videos of controlled demolitions and then consider themselves as equally skilled in determining just what a controlled demolition looks like is truly preposterous, really.

But it’s still something I hear it all the time.

I think people like to consider themselves as logical, for the most part, basing their reasons for beliefs on logic and reason instead of emotion.  When you hear Jenny McCarthy talk about how vaccines gave her son autism, there is a line of reasoning that makes sense.  She gave her son a vaccine and then he had autism.  Simple, really.  At least until you consider the myriad factors surrounding autism.  That autism is still largely a genetic disorder and the notion of it being triggered by mercury is silly, considering you probably get more mercury from eating fish, coal plants, or shoving thermometers up your ass.

Then again, I’m not an expert.

It’s this kind of misinformation that puts the average person at risk.  Doing something like avoiding vaccination puts you and me at risk.  More worrisome, it underscores the importance that science has played in the history of humanity.  Thanks to vaccines, we have eradicated smallpox and polio.  Thanks to advances in medicine and technology, we now live twice as long as we used to.

I suppose that I can understand where this belief comes from, though.  People have learned to distrust authority.  Any authority.  Governments.  Teachers.  Scientists.  Occasionally, with good reason.  Scientists have in the past done truly horrible things in the name of experimentation.  Governments have done some absolutely atrocious things.  But bearing that in mind, even first world governments have never needed to hide behind a veil of conspiracy when they want to invade a country or violate human rights.  They just do it.

I think that maybe there are some things that happen in the world that are so impossible to believe that the only way to rationalize it is to say that there must have been some guiding force behind it.  It’s likely the same belief that has kept Christian Creationism in competition with the evolutionary theory.  It all comes from something.  It has to.  The notion that 19 people could overtake 5 planes and then crash them into the Pentagon and the World Trade Center is simply too unfathomable.  It so violates our notions of safety and security that to have accomplished such a feat, there must have been some Machiavelli who set the pieces in place or maybe pulled the strings himself.

People don’t want to believe the world is as chaotic and random as it is.  The human brain seeks out patterns wherever they might be.  Faces in toast.  Clouds that look like things.  And of course, the interconnectedness of newspaper headlines.

Now, obviously there are a lot of connections between each headline.  One event leads to another.  Patterns, patterns, patterns.  They really are all over the place.  It’s just that when it comes to recognizing those patterns, how do you determine which ones are real and which ones are bullshit?  For a lot of conspiratorially minded people, nothing is left to chance and all patterns are there because someone wanted them to be.

Therein lies the problem.

Love,
Aaron

I have been a long-time fan of The Fast and The Furious film series.  I know what you’re thinking and yes they are all terrible movies.  But their sheer terribleness have found a place in my heart alongside cheap hookers and free beer – though not in that particular order and somewhere close to the bottom of the list of things I hold dear.

Truthfully, I’m not really sure why it is I have such an affinity for them.  Their overwhelming focus is largely about two things: cars & sex.  To be honest, I don’t give a shit about cars and though I love getting a boner as much as the next man, the frustration of having to wait until after the movie to start masturbating is sheer agony.

Be honest.  We both know it’s why you’re here.

Of course, my fascination with the film series has to stem from my months of service at the porn shoppe I worked at in Winnipeg, Manitoba.  The store – in the industrial part of town, no less – was open 24 hours.  8 of those I worked between 12 and 8 am, Friday and Saturday mornings.

Though the hours and pay were both terrible, there was something magical that would happen in those twilight hours.  Okay, not magical.  The store was a dirty shithole.

Frankly, it was one of the most boring fucking jobs I’ve ever had.  Thankfully though, there were no cameras in the store, so if you wanted to jerk off while no one was in the store, you could without having to run to the bathroom.  Just do it right there behind the counter.  Not that I would.  I am a class-act.

So many memories of that dump  Smashing fluorescent bulbs and glass bottles behind the store.  Pornoball.  The Fast and The Furious.

Have some porn star boobs.  No charge.

The thing to do, most often during those late nights, would be to watch movies.  But having the foresight of your average housefly, I would usually forget to go to the video store and pick something up.  There were exceptions, though, as I did eventually manage to fulfill my year-long quest for a Bill & Ted marathon, (which, by the way, is probably the world’s lamest idea for a movie marathon ever.)

You might be asking yourself why I wouldn’t just sit there watching porn all day.  The fact is that porn is pretty pointless once you’re done masturbating and there are only so many wonderfully weird dirty movies our store had.  My personal favourite being Cap’n Mongo’s Porno Playhouse - a film so terrifying, it should only be watched under the influence of quaaludes.

“And what’s the deal with airline food?”

So, one night at the porn store, after my good friend Doug and I realized we would have eight hours and nothing to do, we looked through a stack of video tapes out of desperation.  Somewhere near the bottom was a copy of The Fast and The Furious.  With nothing else to watch, we put it in.

Soon enough, watching The Fast and The Furious turned into a weekly ritual.  Much like Ted Nugent and Westside Connection’s Bow Down, we had taken in the film to our consciousness as part of our obsession with low culture.  So much so, we eventually wrote a book of poems commemorating our adoration of Vin Diesel’s big bald head – all of which remain unpublished to this day.

Still, as all good things must end, I left the porno shop and with it The Fast and The Furious.  So I thought it should remain until 2003 when I got word of its sequel: 2 Fast 2 Furious.  You see, as the second film in the series, they replaced words with numbers signifying its position – that upon entering the theater, you would in fact be watching PART TWO and not part one.  I can only assume it’s because the average viewer of these films is far too stupid to realize that they are viewing a sequel.

So it would continue according to the law of declining quality, hitting a stride of shittiness with the release of part 3: Tokyo Drift.  By that point I had completely forgotten the series had existed and had moved on to other things such as not paying attention to The Fast and The Furious film series.  However, my attention would be pulled back with 2009′s Fast and Furious, leaving me to muse quietly whilst smoking a cigar, “I should probably watch that…one day.“

Studies show that celebrity boobs bring in at least 95 percent more perverts.

Sadly, that day has not yet come, leaving me at odds with the soon-to-be-released Fast Five - the fifth film in the series for those still not paying attention.  Thankfully, much like their affinity for hot cars and fast women, they have not abandoned their decision to continue numbering the film series.  However, I do feel that refusing to number films 3 and 4 will lead to much confusion for future generations.  Though 3 is easy to pinpoint enough, (the one with all the Asians), given 4′s usage of all original cast members, perhaps a retroactive retitling to F4$7 4nd 4ur1ou$ 4 would not be out of the question.

Will I be there watching?  Probably not.  I would hate to break my streak of not watching any of the film’s sequels.  More to the point, I would hate to partake in the shoveling of garbage onto the public, no matter how deserving they are of it.  And while I admire suckering money out of dumb people, I feel that money should probably come from people who aren’t me.

I mean, I wouldn’t want to encourage them to make more, now would I?

Love,
Aaron

Sorry for Nickelback.

Really.

Now take back Kesha.

Seriously.

This shit isn’t funny anymore.

Love,
Aaron

Seriously Fuck Brokencyde.

Fuck them in their stupid auto-tuned faces.  Fuck their stupid swoop haircuts.  Their screamo-crunk musings.  Fuck their tight jeans.

But most of all, fuck their fans.

Yes, fuck you.

You caused them to happen.  You caused them to exist.  You allowed them to self-perpetuate, germinate and eventually reproduce.

And like the deformed baby brought about by incest, each of their offspring were worse than the last.

Attack Attack.

Asking Alexandria.

These Kids Wear Crowns.

Abandon All Ships.

Etc.

Sorry for not linking, but I refuse to associate that trash with this High Quality Blog (tm)

Each of them feasting off the ass-droppings of the last.

Consume, defecate, consume.

All of them sucked into the cycle.

I see no difference between any of them.  They are all equally terrible.

They do not qualify as music.

But is it their fault?

You were there.  You could have stopped it, but you didn’t.

Instead, you went to the shows and bought the albums.

When you were 13, you got your first tattoo.  It said “Bree Bree”.

I fucking hate you.

The problem is not with the music industry.

The problem is you.

The industry exists to supply you with what you want.

If only you liked better music.

I remember a time when punk used to be about something.  It used to be about attitude.

Now it’s about eurotrance and breakdowns.

Let me just say that I don’t have necessarily have anything against either style of music.

Okay, well, actually both are shit.

Sticking shit with shit doesn’t create gold.  It creates a bigger mess of shit.

But I guess most people like shit.

Just look at Kenny G.

He has sold over 75 million albums.

Eldridge Rodriguez has sold somewhere around ten.

Before in this website, I told you that I shouldn’t have the right to control what you listen to.

I was wrong.

For every dollar given to these Alternative Press cover-boys,

(and fuck Alternative Press too, by the way)

someone should get kicked in the stomach.

If you are caught with one of their records, that’s one kick.

Wearing a t-shirt should get you two.  Plus having your face smashed against a brick wall.

Going to the shows should get you full-blown prison rape.

I would say we should castrate all of the guys going to see these bands

but the truth is that none of them have dicks.

They don’t even have vaginas.

To say they did would be an insult to the beauty that is the vagina.

No sir,

they have nothing.  Simply a mound to rub against girls with swoop haircuts

in the mosh pit.

Behold the horrors of the Zamfir nexus!  An endless cycle of pan flute hell repeated ad infinitum!

Ok, so I miss out on one or two bands who may be worth investigating, but I say that if it prevents me from listening to a million Guns & Roses clones, then it’s worth it.  If listening to a million random bands on the internet has taught me nothing else, it’s that most bands are terrible and should cease releasing records at once.  Especially those in the underground.

I have noticed that there is this perception among “music snobs”, that “the underground” has better music than “the mainstream” which they will gladly “tell you about” while “overusing” “air quotes”.  Yet, it only takes a few listens to the countless “digital eps” released on “netlabels” (i.e.: blogs with archive.org accounts) to realize that “the underground” is just as full of shit as “the mainstream”.  Sure, it might be a different kind of shit – greenish-yellow, full of nuts, and squirting out your ass as though it were a firehose – but shit is shit, regardless of consistency.

Despite your choice of music, be it underground, mainstream, or mindie, there will always be something out there to hate.  From the dregs of Jamendo to the heights of Warner Brothers records, generic music pervades every genre.  Yet, it should be said, truly terrible bands are not quite as common as one would think with most opting for the slightly less offensive “unmemorably bland”.

Typical Brokencyde fan or brilliant satire?  The line is too thin.

Still, they aren’t impossible to find.

In my opinion, being generic is almost worse than being outright terrible.  It smacks of laziness.  Why bother even trying to create something new?  It’s much easier to grasp the low-hanging fruit of the music industry!

Anyway, repetition of thoughts, chord progressions, and whatnot  is because music, for the most part, generally relies on regurgitation.  From Led Zeppelin…whoops.  I meant “borrowing ideas”, not “blatant fucking plagiarism”.  This in of itself is not necessarily a horrible thing.  Most, if not all art, just involves puking up the same shit that’s been puked up a hundred times by a hundred different assholes.

Subtle metaphor for the art world.

Ultimately, it’s not very challenging.  Good art, in my opinion, should be a challenge, not simply for the audience, but also the artist.  Artists should always strive to become better than they are, but there seems to me, to be a fear from a lot of artists to even attempt to try new things.  Say perhaps you are a iconic, yet underwhelmingly generic act, there’s literally an expectation of artistic stagnation.  Because if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!  Also, if you change, we will crucify you.

It’s really this fear that seems to prevent some artists from moving forward.  Why take the risk alienating your well-established gravy train, I mean, audience?

Sage advice from a dog.

Fear and opposition should never be how an artist defines themselves.  Sure, not every idea will work together perfectly, but how are you going to know what works if you never even try?  Sure, throwing a washboard-and-kazoo solo into your prog rock masterpiece might sound stupid, but it might be the best thing since deep fried Mars bars – something I’m sure also sounded really stupid at first too, but fuck you, they’re awesome.

Don’t get me wrong.  I feel that in the end, it’s far more important for all bands to have a foundation of good, solid songs whether you’re a noise band like Wolf Eyes or Bob Dylan.  And too much or improperly executed experimentation can also detract.  But trying and failing on your own merits is ultimately far more admirable than succeeding off the work of others.

Love,
Aaron

After having just seen the two following videos:

just jon says:

omg lol

this reminds me of my old recordings

for some reason

lemme bring them up again

see what you think

I say:

sure thing!

just jon says:

pretty basic

I say:

you should post stuff on youtube

so i can subscribe to you

just jon says:

meh

Im basically musically retarded

even though I took a theory class

(shrugs)

I say:

who cares?

nickelback is musically retarded and look how big they are!

it’s all about transitioning properly,

just jon says:

eh I guess

I say:

flow.

flow is a very important concept.

you gotta flow like a 14 year old girl.

just jon says:

that weighs 200 pounds

I say:

and has uncontrollable diarrhea.

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